Constant reminder to self: why?

WHY?

It's a simple and over-used phrase we use almost meaninglessly and sometimes the intention is not in trying to find an answer but rather in the question itself.
Do we have to ask, 'Why?' Why do we ask 'why'?
Then, why is WHY important?
The answer is simple: Without the 'WHYs' we may live without understanding the meaning of it or the purpose of it.
For every action, I used to ask WHY? It was a way for me to check whether my action was based my own desires which may go against the ultimate 'right' or truth.
By asking ourselves, 'WHY?' we sometimes can get to our true intentions. We may come up with some superficial, diplomatic, politically correct answers. Then how can we be true to ourselves?
Just wait a little bit, and ask again! 'Why?' By simply repeating the question, we are now playing an interrogation game. It gives an impression to you that the other 'you' didn't buy your first explanation, and now the other 'you' are asking you the same question yet again, implying you'd better come up with a true answer this time. You may resist a few more times, but eventually you may give in. 'Okay okay. the real reason is... blah blah.'

Why am I writing about 'Why'? My first response would be 'It's a truly wonderful thing to re-examine yourself and keep yourself from digressing... ' but then, I am sure I have ulterior motives. Maybe I don't ask myself 'Why?'. Maybe I WANT TO be asking myself these questions yet fail. By writing about, maybe I am trying to give an impression to myself that I do these things.

One thing I learned the hard way is momentum is extremely important. Momentum may be replaced by 'habits' perhaps. Once you cross a line, there is a stamp on you that can't be erased. Once you kill someone, you will forever be a murderer. Once you have an affair, you will never be able to escape from your past actions. But if you haven't committed any of these things, even small things like stealing, that itself sometimes keeps you going and keep you away from doing these.

As I am writing this pointless essay, I honestly can't figure out why I am writing about this... maybe I am just not sleepy at 4am and really bored. Maybe I just wanted to update the blog.
But after asking myself 'WHY' a few times, I realized, I am just really frustrated and having a hard time, yet I am just making futile efforts to cope with it by trying to say something that is seemingly totally unrelated yet desperately trying to imprint a hidden message in the essay by twisting words that would suggest one thing, and have it suggest another.. so that no one can find out what the true intension is.

It's time to go to bed... but it's been a while since I wrote these random things ... as I remember last time I did it was in college during the Cyworld Era, the good old days.